Date Everything! Review

When I saw the first trailer for Date Everything!, It definitely had me interested. I thought I was in for a quirky little indie romance sim with a gimmick that would get a lot of people in the door and open to checking it out. You know, date a few objects, get a few chuckles, then move onto the next thing. But after actually jumping in, I found the game to be strangely affecting, consistently funny, well written and surprisingly, was far deeper than I ever expected it to be.

This game comes from Sassy Chap Games, a new studio founded by a dream team of veteran voice actors who’ve decided they’ve spent enough time voicing other people’s ideas—and it was time for their own. And it’s a very strong debut title. Date Everything! is exactly what it sounds like: a game where you can date… well, everything. From a disillusioned lamp to a vacuum cleaner, even your own bed, everything in this house has a soul, a voice, and a whole lot of emotional baggage. And yes, you will get attached.

The setup is simple, but effective. You move into a mysterious, sprawling house and not long after arrival, you receive a package containing a magical pair of glasses which allow you to see the true, physical manifestations of objects. Suddenly, your chair has legs in more ways than one. Your fridge wants to talk. Your plunger has thoughts.

But this is more than just a surface level gag. The characters are full-on personalities, each with their own design, voice, quirks, secrets, and story arcs. There are 100 dateable characters, each lovingly crafted, voiced, and intertwined with the world sand other characters in ways that constantly surprised me.

The art direction really helps sell this idea. Each character design integrates the object’s real-world identity into its humanoid form—sometimes elegant, sometimes absurd, always memorable. Ever found yourself falling in love with a coffee mug? How about a vacuum cleaner? Because here, you’ll have the ability to do just that. The designs don’t just serve the joke—they reflect the personalities and emotional journeys of these characters. It’s stylish, funny, weird, and surprisingly touching.

The main gameplay loop is structured around in-game days. Each day, you can interact with up to five characters, choosing how to spend your limited time. Do you deepen your bond with that mysterious lamp you’ve had your eye on? Try to increase your bond with your bed? Or perhaps chase down a clue you overheard that might lead you to a completely new object hiding in the closet?

Every interaction nudges your relationship in some direction—friendship, love, or hate. These aren’t just cosmetic outcomes; each relationship path leads to a different ending, and characters react to your choices in nuanced ways. Your dialogue options are shaped by your stats, known as S.P.E.C.S. points—think of them as your emotional vocabulary. You earn S.P.E.C.S. in categories like Empathy, Charm, Sass, Poise and Smarts, and unlocking higher levels opens up richer conversations and alternate paths.

The game does a great job encouraging exploration. Characters are scattered throughout the house you live in, and many of them are discovered organically. I found a very interesting character hiding in a sock drawer. A houseplant in the guest bathroom opened up a whole subplot involving other characters. It’s not just about picking characters off a menu—you stumble into stories, sometimes literally, and that keeps the experience feeling fresh even close to 30 hours in.

Let’s talk voice acting. Because Date Everything! doesn’t just feature solid voice work—it boasts one of the most stacked casts in recent memory. You’ll recognize voices from AAA games, top-tier anime, prestige cartoons, and more. The result is a ridiculous amount of polish. Every line is delivered with conviction, charm, and a perfect sense of comedic or dramatic timing.

It helps that the writing gives them so much to work with. Yes, the game is funny—like laugh-out-loud, spit-take funny. But just when you think it’s all goofs, a storyline will hit you out of nowhere with a gut-punch. Some of these characters are hurting, and the game doesn’t shy away from exploring trauma, abandonment, and self-worth through the lens of these bizarre objects. And yeah, it does occasionally make you feel like a therapist, especially when a character breaks down crying because they feel like they’ve outlived their usefulness.

The journal system is a blessing. It helps you track your progress with each character, noting key likes, dislikes, and unresolved quests. Since some storylines span weeks of in-game time and involve multiple intersecting characters, having a clean, intuitive interface to reference is crucial—and thankfully, it works well.

The soundtrack absolutely slaps. Every character has their own musical motif, and it often plays subtly in the background of interactions to set the emotional tone. An electronic fuelled riff for the Television. An energetic jingle for the musical Triangle. The music shifts dynamically depending on the emotional stakes of the moment, and the overall sound design helps immerse you in this strangely believable world.

Performance-wise, the game runs smoothly. I didn’t hit any crashes or bugs in my playthrough, and the menus are responsive. Load times are quick, and transitions between rooms are snappy enough to encourage exploration. It’s all put together really well.

While I love the game’s ambition, there are a few rough edges. First, the emotional depth of some storylines means you’re often playing therapist. That’s not a bad thing inherently, but when every other conversation starts diving into abandonment issues or existential dread, it can get a little exhausting, if you happen to check in with these characters in short succession. Sometimes, I just wanted a fun, flirty interaction with my microwave without having to confront its feelings about obsolescence. Thankfully there are 100 different things in the game to help balance out the interactions.

I also wish there was more customization in how your day is structured. With only five interactions per day, it can be frustrating when you feel forced to ignore characters you’re interested in because a storyline requires you to pursue a different thread. Maybe a New Game+ mode that opens up more daily slots would help.

Finally, with so many characters, some of them feel underutilized. The writing is consistently strong, but not every character arc hits the same emotional or comedic highs. A few of them could’ve used a little more time in the oven, though to be honest it is something I went into the game expecting to be the reality, given the sheer amount of characters in the game and it’s very high production value.

Final Thoughts

Date Everything! is one of those rare games that sounds like a joke until it blindsides you with how good it actually is. It’s hilarious, heartfelt, and completely committed to its absurd premise. The writing is sharp, the voice acting is elite, and the emotional beats generally land. Sure, it makes you fall in love with a stapler. But it also makes you care about that stapler’s hopes, fears, and weird poetry about office politics.

Sassy Chap Games has knocked it out of the park with their debut. Whether you’re here for laughs, for love, or just to see how deep the rabbit hole goes, Date Everything!is absolutely worth your time. It’s a bold, strange, beautiful mess—and definitely unlike anything you’ve played recently.

A Date Everything! Review code was provided by the publisher for the purpose of this review.

If you want to see more content like this and never miss one of our frequent gaming and anime giveaways come and Follow Ani-Game on Twitter.